Everyone has a best friend forever, or a “BFF,” if you will.  But how do we know that she is going to be your BFF forever? Well here is an EPIC list that only people that have BFF’s forever will understand.  So, if you don’t understand the list, chances are you are someone who has a BFF, but she probably wont be the type of BFF that will be your best friend forever, so get rid of that bitch fast.


  1. You both call each other some form of the word bitch.  The bitch term needs to be altered to some form of “biatch, beotch, betch, etc.”.   If she actually calls you bitch then she def isn’t going to be your BFF forever.  LOVE YA BETCH!


  1. She gets jealous if you have a boyfriend or other BFF’s.  Jealousy is a must amongst BFF’s.  If she isn’t jealous then that means she doesn’t care and more than likely isn’t your BFF, therefore you must get rid of her.


  1. Only true BFFs don’t get mad at each other for talking to the same match on Tinder.  Nothing beats staying up late with your BFF and swiping the night away.  It shows that you are concerned about each others dating lives and that’s a must for a BFF.


  1. Be fabulous together.  If you and your BFF aren’t fabulous then you probably wont last, and you must find someone else.


  1. Get white girl wasted with each other.  You can’t be BFFs without a couple drunk screaming matches.  If your BFF hasn’t yelled at you in a drunken rage “I HOPE YOU GET HPV BEOTCH!”, then you don’t have that unbreakable bond  all BFFs have, in which case you should probably get rid of her.


  1. Tell each other that they are fabulous.  Because it’s not just enough to be fabulous, you and your BFF need constant reassurance that you are fabulous, especially when you’re getting double teamed.


  1. Gossip behind your back.  As a girl, I know firsthand that we can be total bitches sometimes.  Gossiping is just part of a girls life.  Hopefully you and your BFF are already gossiping together, but if your BFF isn’t gossiping about you then you know you just have an average friend, and you should probably get rid of her.


  1. Has sex with your ex- boyfriend.  BFFs want you to get over your past relationship.  What better way to help you get over your dickhead ex-boyfriend than to find out he banged your BFF? Now you have the motivation that you need in order to never talk to that lying scumbag ever again.



Published by Sammy “the” Bull.


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